Surprise!!!! It's A......

Yep! That's right, we are going to have another baby!
I wanted to keep it semi-quiet for a couple of reasons, and because of that,
this will be a long post about all my feelings so far & a journal entry for me
about how I feel being pregnant, etc. ;) But first Boy or Girl? :)
If you look close at the picture (I even labeled the parts so you can tell what it is easier)
Yay! We're having a Little Boy! He should be here December 15th!

So this all started back in February when I stopped nursing Hallie. I felt strongly that I shouldn't go back on birth control, but didn't know why because we were not ready to have another one yet and wanted Hallie to be at least 2 1/2 -3 before our next one came. In April I was late (which never happens) & I told Brian. He was cute & wondered how this happened. :) I quickly told him how the birds and the bees work. ;) ha ha ha I said that it would be nice to have a good tax refund next year, and I LOVE the look Brian gave me. He said, "Wait? When is this baby due?" I told him December 15th, and he smiled and said, "Holy Crap!" :) So we will have kids born in 2004, 2005, 2008, and 2009. Not what we had planned, but we are so excited. Especially that Hallie and the baby will be close and 22 months apart. Anyway, there were a lot of things going on in both of our families that, we felt that by telling everyone we were pregnant, it would just add to everything else, so we decided to wait which also included NOT telling the kids. We had Morgan's birthday party & Jackson decided to tell EVERYONE there that I was going to have a baby. Everyone looked at me as though I had big news to share. Brian & I just played it off & laughed about it saying that Jackson's friend Whitney had just had a baby brother. Then a couple of days later, right after sacrament meeting, Jackson went up to Whitney and her parents and said, "My mom is going to have a baby!" They looked at me again as if I had big news to share, to which I just played it off. ;) I thought maybe Jackson had some special intuition about his little brother coming. We decided to tell our families on Father's Day. Actually Karen (Brian's mom) found out through the cable guy. Yes it's true... here's the story. Brian was helping his mom set up some things and the cable guy happened to be there. He and Brian started making small talk and Brian told him that we had 3 kids and one on the way. Well Brian never thought he or his mom would see the cable guy again, so he figured he was okay in telling him this. There was a problem with the cable, so the guy had to come back the next day when Karen was there. He was looking at the big family picture and Karen started telling him about her family. She mentioned that Brian was the one he had met the previous night and the cable guy said, "Now he has 4 kids?" Karen said, "No, he has 3" the cable guy, "But she's pregnant right?" Karen, "Oh, I didn't know that. " I think the cable guy was kind of embarrassed. Karen called Brian & we all laughed about it. So as for everyone else, they found out on Father's Day. The kids are so excited. For a while they have said that we need a baby boy because we already have a baby girl. One day I heard them talking and Jackson said, "We should name the baby Bob!" Morgan then said, "Oh, I like that name. It's cute!" Last week when I was hugging Jackson goodnight, he said, " Mom, when the baby comes I want to hold it for a long time, and I want you to take a movie of us, and then we will say, "What should we name the baby?" And we should say, "Spiderman....or Batman....or Superman.... or Huffman"" I said okay Jackson, we can call the baby Spiderman, to which he gave me a huge grin. :) The other night Jackson had a dream that we had the baby. I went to the hospital, they used scissors and cut my tummy open, & took the baby out which happened to be a girl. When Jackson came out of his room in the morning he said to me as he looked all around the room, "Where's the baby?" He then told me his dream. I asked him if there was any blood and he said no. Wouldn't that be a nice and simple process. :) All the kids really understand at this point is that Daddy helps put the baby in, and Daddy helps take the baby out. ;) Yesterday when we told the kids we were going to have a boy and we showed them the Ultrasound pictures, Jackson looked kind of disappointed because he thought we were having a girl because of his dream. I said "It's okay Jackson. Now we can name the baby Spiderman!" I have never seen a kid so excited! He got a HUGE bright look in his eyes and grinned. I think he's accepted the fact now. :)

Now to be a little more serious, I have felt the whole time that this would be a boy. I wondered when we first found out that I was pregnant, why we were having a baby now. I know that Heavenly Father sends us these children when they need to come, but I was having a hard time with the fact of having 4 kids now, when I feel they are so young, and I'm trying so hard to be a good mom now with just 3. As I was kind of struggling with this, Brian gave me a priesthood blessing (which I am so thankful for) & in it he said, that I would know that this baby was coming for a reason now, and that I would develop a close bond with the baby while I carried it. I felt so strongly it was a boy. When we went to the first dr. appointment & heard the heartbeat, once again, I knew it was a boy. I feel that this year has really been a hard year for Brian & I. There have been so many changes that we have had to adjust to & accept & that have really made us think more about life, each other, our family, the gospel, and what true happiness really is, which all seems to center around the family & our relationships with each other & the Savior. This year has been more of a struggle for Brian, and as I try to be supportive & helpful to him as he personally deals with changes around him, I have felt that this baby is coming to bring peace. I feel that this baby is coming to help lift our spirits out of sorrow & pain & take part in the joy & peace that life, especially new life has to offer. Brian said yesterday as he looked at the baby on the Ultrasound, "I just want to hold him & cuddle with him now!" I know that as Brian said in my blessing, that this baby is coming for a reason, and I strongly believe that reason is to bring peace to us all. I think of how neat it will be to have this new baby in December that will bring peace, and then to think of how we celebrate Christ in December who is the Prince of Peace and for all the peace that He brings. I am so grateful & excited to have a baby now, especially a boy. I know that we have a Father in Heaven who loves us so much & is aware of our needs & desires. I am so grateful for Him & our Savior.

Now you get to see some fun pictures of me. ;) I DO NOT like taking pictures of myself, especially when I'm pregnant,but one of my dear friends has taught me that we should not take pregnancy for granted. That we should be grateful to be able to carry these children of God, and find enjoyment in pregnancy. With that in mind, I decided that I need to be more grateful that my pregnancys are good and that I'm able to carry them & be healthy too. I LOVE hearing the heartbeat. I LOVE going to the Ultrasound. I feel like it is the first time on earth that Brian, the baby, and I all connect. I LOVE being able to feel the baby move, and I LOVE the gift of life.
My girls pregnancys have been so easy, & calm, and I don't get sick. I figured this was a boy, because I was sick all day long the first 3 months. Not throwing up, thank goodness, but just feeling sick all day. However, this baby does not like Roast Beef or carrots. I'll leave it there. :) With the girls I have craved Mexican Food & chocolate. With the boys I just want to eat everything. :) This time though I have really enjoyed Ice Cream sandwiches & the Golden Oreos. Very Healthy huh! :) I feel really good right now other then just being tired & a little emotional. Brian is so sweet & when tears come (for no reason at all) he just gives me a hug & smiles. I love him! So we are sooooo excited to have this little guy come. The time is going so fast & we are excited to meet him in December. :)

Here I am officially half way!