A Mother's Thoughts

 
A couple of weeks ago Brian's Dad showed me this picture of his Dad (Grandpa Doug) when he was a baby. Brian had always said that he thought that Landon looked a lot like his Grandpa, but I had no idea until I saw this picture. I was amazed at the similarities! As I looked back and forth at the picture of Grandpa Doug & then Landon, I couldn't help but wonder what life was like for Grandpa's Mother (Grandma Barb)with her own sweet baby.
I wonder how many times she looked at her little baby in amazement that he was hers, that she, along with the help of others & God's help had brought him into this world. I wonder how many times she looked at him throughout the day and said, "I Love You!" & looked at him hoping that he really could understand how much she loved him. I am sure that she spent many moments during the day thinking about him & what his future would hold... hoping again that she could raise him to be the kind of man that he needed to be. I wonder if she kissed those sweet cheeks a hundred times a day, and could never put him to sleep without one last kiss... or maybe a couple more before she too could retire to bed. I wonder if she just wanted to put life on hold for a while so she could slow down and enjoy the sweet sounds, smells, & feelings a baby brings to a woman's heart & soul. How many times did she pray for his safety, or check on him to make sure he was okay? Did she check on him often while he was asleep just to make sure she could see his chest rising and falling or hear the soft sound of his breath? Did she hope & pray with all her might that she could be the mother that he needed? Did she sacrifice all that she had or wanted to take care of him and be his Mother, or was he along with her other kids all that she truly ever wanted? I am sure she softly ran her fingers up his little body, or kissed his neck just so she could see his smile or hear his contagious laugh. Yes, there are many things to ponder about a baby & his mother.
I feel very close to this woman whom I have never met. I can feel her spirit often watching over Landon, and maybe because he is so much like her boy. I am sure if I were to meet her on the street, I would instantly recognize her as a dear friend & we would talk about the joys that come with womanhood & motherhood.
I am grateful, that even though I haven't met Grandma Barb, she has set an example for me, as all other woman I know have. She has set the example of how to be a fun & loving woman & more importantly a righteous Mother in Zion.
I see this sweet picture and think, 80 years ago, a young mother had her own sweet baby boy. She fed him, taught him, kissed his cheeks, & loved him. And so, for now, I will try to slow down and enjoy the moments of being a mother with a sweet baby boy & 3 other beautiful children & kiss their sweet cheeks & make them laugh as often as I can.